Female orgasm: Why can't I climax during sexual intercourse?

Much has been written about the sometimes elusive female orgasm. It's a myth that women who can't experience orgasm during intercourse have a problem.

Although some women can reach orgasm during intercourse, many women find it easier and actually prefer to achieve orgasm through oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris. Female anatomy makes it more difficult to be stimulated to orgasm by intercourse than does the male anatomy. These differences between men and women with regard to orgasm often lead to expectations and misinterpretation of meaning associated with response during intercourse.

The focus on "achieving" orgasm and "working" at it are likely to lead to distress and inhibit you and your husband from just letting go and enjoying the pleasure of sexual arousal and activity. Focus on your thoughts and feelings rather than placing emphasis on the act itself.

One of the major difficulties couples experience is identifying what is mutually desired from sexual activity and communicating effectively with each other. It's important that you discuss your differences and learn from each other your desires and expectations, to alleviate concerns.

If this continues to be a problem in your marriage, you and your husband may consider seeking professional help to address it, such as through a marital or sex therapist.